A blog dedicated to things that sucked (and didn't suck) about the 1980's

  • Welcome to thefabulous80's - A blog dedicated to the things that sucked and didn't suck about the 1980's.

    I'm Peter, the primary editor of this blog. The point of this blog is to post light-hearted articles about the high and low points of the 1980's from multiple authors.

    Hopefully this blog doesn't suck.

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Posts Tagged ‘Soviet Russia’

Didn’t Suck: The Red Spot on Gorbachev’s Head

Posted by PJC on March 8, 2011

By: PJC.

This article is being written in red font because, well, it involves the last communist leader of the Soviet Union. I’m talking of course about Mikhail Gorbachev. Let me run through, for a moment, a very abridged list of this man’s multitude of accomplishments:

  • Awarded Nobel Peace Price in 1990
  • General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union
  • Perestroika
  • Glasnost
  • Repeal of the Brezhnev Doctrine
  • Playing a crucial role in reducing nuclear weapons and ending the cold war
  • Democratization of the USSR.

Clearly a very impressive man. Despite each of those accomplishments being worthy of their own article, this article focuses on something much more memorable about him. The thing I (and, I submit, everyone else) will remember about Secretary Gorbachev first and foremost? That huge red spot on top of his balding head. In case you missed it, this is it:


Gorbachev and his red spot.

Think I’m being ridiculous? Ask anyone you know who was alive during this period of time to name 1 physical characteristic about Gorbachev. I guarantee 99.9% of the people you ask will say the red spot. I’m not exaggerating. Remember how he was portrayed in the Simpsons?


Gorbachev in the Simpsons

It’s no joke. The thing was massive. It was this guy’s calling card. If this guy had a card on the Hasbro board game “Taboo,” it would look something like this:

Russian Leader
Soviet Union

[In case you’re not familiar with Taboo, the premise of this game is to get your teammate(s) to say the subject word (on the top of the card) by describing it using anything but that word or the five words (and any derivative thereof) listed on the card. My crude sketch above is an example of a card.

As an aside, when we used to play this game as a family growing up, I was the annoying little sh*t who absolutely loved  the damn buzzer. The buzzer was a AA battery-powered device with an exceedingly lame early 90’s color scheme that, when used, sounded both more pathetic and more annoying than the horn on a Honda Civic. The point of it was to hit the buzzer when someone used a word they shouldn’t have in describing the subject word, giving the other team a point. Here’s what it looked like:

Sample of a Taboo buzzer. I can't (and won't) take credit for these amazing graphics that help illustrate its annoying qualities.


 Needless to say, whenever we played this game as a family, my older brothers saw to it that not a single AA battery could be found in the entire house. But, being the annoying sh*t I was, I sometimes managed to sneak one in during the game and use it. Growing up with older brothers, I’ve been flogged by everything from a Tennis Ball to an original NES Nintendo cartridge. However, nothing guaranteed physical violence more than using this damn buzzer when they were within a square mile of me…and understandably so.]

But, I digress…back to Gorbachev.

According to Wikipedia, knower of all things, the red spot is a type of birthmark called a “naevus flammeus,” also known commonly as a “port-wine stain.” Basically, it’s a bunch of superficial and deep dilated capillaries in the skin. And, on the Wikipedia article for the Naevus Flammeus – guess who is in the main picture demonstrating an example of one? That’s right. Gorbachev. See for yourself:

So, I guess that’s all I have to say on that topic. None of the preceding was meant to be in any way disrespectful to Secretary Gorbachev. For better or for worse, the man brought about significant changes for Russia during his tenure in control.

Gorbachev's resignation speech.


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